Toolkit for the Dark Night of the Soul

Welcome back!

Art of Healing podcast is back for the Longest Night of the year, Winter Solstice.  Join me and my special guest, Heather @heatheryish.

Heather has a unique healing practice in which she combines Art, Creativity,  and Reiki to heal her clients.   Heather is a Psychic Artist based in South Florida who has cultivated a sensitivity to subtle energies through her artistic process.

Heather uses the artistic process to open healing channels in her clients.
 
 Heather share with us her unique perspective on how creativity can widen your perspective, offering your freedom when you may feel restricted.
 
 
 Want to connect with Heather? You should!!!
 
 Website:  www.heatheryish.com
Instagram:  @heatheryish
Facebook: Heatheryish Gallery

Find out about her Claircoach Certification program here  https://www.heatheryish.com/claircoach-certification

“Dark Night of the Soul” is a term sometimes used to describe a low point, “rock bottom”, the point in life we all inevitably reach.  This is a combination of losses in many areas of life.  

I am excited to offer the Reiki Coaching Program for Life Transitions.  Find out more about this program here:

https://healingartshealthandwellness.com/product/reiki-coaching-program/

If you are in the Dark Night of the Soul, you can use this time to grow.  This time in your life has a purpose.  It is up to you to discover what that purpose is.

Welcome to the Art of Healing Podcast community.  This podcast is devoted to helping you find what works on your journey to health and wellness.  This podcast is devoted to providing information on many healing modalities.  Learn more about:

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and more!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:53

Hello, art of Healing podcast listeners, thank you so much for joining us today. This is Charli, as always your host of the podcast. Um, there has been a little bit of a break because I wanted to take some time to do a little bit of housekeeping and work on a very big project, which I'll be sharing more about in the next few weeks. However, we are back for a very special episode that, um, we're going to share with you all. On the longest night of the year, I asked a guest that had been on my show previously, Heather, of Heather ish, to join me again. She's a very powerful healer in an artist, and she and I touched on the subject during our first podcast, and I'll put the links to that in our show notes on the dark Night of the Soul. And I just felt guided to have her back. I thought this, we've gotta circle back around to this. So I've asked Heather, who has blessed me by joining me again to discuss the Dark Night of the Soul. We'll talk about her journey into the Dark Night of the soul, and then we'll talk about a little bit of a toolkit to survive this. Um, if this is where you are, Heather is a psychic artist who is based in South Florida. And she is cultivated a sensitivity to subtle energies. Through her artistic prac practice expressed emotionally with colorful abstract art has led her to establish an inward connection to herself, which has led her to explore energy work. Once Heather became attuned to the healing energy of Reiki, she realized she was able to pick up on things beyond the five senses, and she began practicing reiki as a psychic medium. In addition to being a Reiki master practitioner and teacher. All of this has led Heather to a very unique practice that she now shares. She is taking clients and she's gonna share with us a very, very special program that she's got going called the Clara Coach Certification Program. Heather, hello and welcome.

Speaker 2: 2:58

Hello. I'm so happy to be here again.

Speaker 1: 3:01

And before we jump in, how are you and do you wanna go ahead and give us a little, little info on the Clear Coach Certification Program?

Speaker 2: 3:15

Oh, of course, absolutely. Well, I've been fabulous. A lot of really amazing things have been coming about, and one of those is my Clear Coach certification program that I'm really excited about because when I work with my clients, especially after we've done a few sessions, it becomes less about me telling them what's coming in their lives and where their energy is headed, and more about how can we create our own reality? How can we tap in and master those energies ourselves? They wanna learn more about developing their intuition and their psychic ability. And I am also a Reiki master teacher, like you mentioned. So for me, incorporating both the energy work and the psychic development can be a really powerful tool, not just in our personal development, but also, um, as empaths. We are here to serve the collective in, in a really balanced way. And so, um, I am kind of building out this program to be something my clients can even use in their careers with their clients or the people that they serve in their profession as well. Um, so it's really just about enhancing their, their practice and what they offer to others. And I'm so excited to be, um, developing that. We're going into beta testing very soon. So, um, I'm really happy to also offer, uh, a great offer to your, uh, listeners.

Speaker 1: 4:44

Thank you so much, Heather. So, um, we are talking about, uh, the term I chose was the Dark Night of the Soul. We're talking about it on the log night of the year. Um, Heather, can you tell us the basics of what a dark night of the soul is? What is that

Speaker 2: 5:06

For sure? Well, I think that we all go through ups and downs in life, right? Everybody, the human experience, there's a common, a lot of commonalities we share. But I think that there are some people who, in this lifetime or on their path experience something called a dark night of the soul that feels like a real deep bottoming out. It feel, it feels incredibly painful, it's very overwhelming emotionally. Um, and it's because sometimes people get to this point in their lives where they become very sensitive. They might always have been a little bit more sensitive. They might always have been labeled as a bit dramatic by people who don't really understand. But these people who have these sensitive, um, emotional, you know, awarenesses get to this place where what used to work doesn't really work anymore. And where they have been spending a lot of time considering a certain worldview that jives with the opinions of their family members, their authority, and the culture at large. And they're seeing that, oh no, no, that is not working. And it's just this kind of deep cognitive dissonance where it feels like all the plates that have been spinning crash to the floor. And for some people it can be incredibly intense and life has changed after this, and it's always changed for the better. But it can feel like a really intense experience as you're going through a dark night of the soul. And I will say that in my experience, a lot of people, uh, experience this dark night of the soul around the time of their Saturn return. So I am not deep into astrology, but I know that every 27 years or so, 28, 29, um, Saturn returns to the house that we were born in and brings with it kind of this cleansing that can be incredibly uncomfortable. And it requires a person to be face to face with some of the things that did not work in their life. And it requires them to sit with themselves and really get into this deep place of what it, what it leads to, uh, in most cases, and, and, and hopefully for all the listeners, is a deep ex, a deeper acceptance of the self than you have ever experienced. But what it feels like is a lot of anger and frustration at all the people who, um, told you differently, all the, all the frustrations where you were trying your hardest to do the right thing, and then you realized that it wasn't enough or it didn't turn out like you wanted it to, and you just can't pretend anymore. And you wish that in this moment you could just turn off all your emotions and go on autopilot and keep trudging along, but you just can't. And that's actually a really good thing. That's because you're at a place in your journey where your emotional sens sensitivity is responding to you and reacting to you to inspire change for the better. Even though it might take, you know, a sig significant amount of time, the growth process that results from the dark night of the soul is incredibly powerful. And it's almost like as painful as Dark Knight of the Soul is, that's the amount of joy that it is inspiring. And if I'm talking to somebody in the dark night of the soul, that part doesn't matter right now. It's just too overwhelming. And that's okay. And it's really about learning to sit with those difficult emotions and learning to love yourself in that place. It's, it's a, it's an intense journey. It's not for the faint of heart. And if you find yourself in that place, it's because you're ready for it. You can do it and you're not gonna stay there forever. But it is gonna require you to get face-to-face with that shadow self.

Speaker 1: 9:35

So, um, you and I are at a place that we can discuss what it is to be at a dark night of the soul. And as I was realized, I'm like, well, I'm asking her to share her story. I just briefly share, um, for me what it was like, which was, um, you know, um, and you said it perfectly, like you're on autopilot. So, uh, mine was, uh, nearly 10 years ago and I was definitely on autopilot, autopilot with work and relationships and my health. Um, now f what I do advise my, uh, clients that I work with, and I, I pray that there's a little bit more gentle, my dark Night came within a 12 hour period of a rapid shutdown of everything. So one event set off a cascade where everything began to collapse all within, you know, hours of each of themselves, me emotionally and relationship work. So that, um, I was forced to look inward and for the first time notice how I felt. Um, and so I think I'll do that later in another podcast. But, um, definitely share with the listeners cuz you had started sharing when you were on the show before, what your journey into the dark night was, if you don't mind,

Speaker 2: 10:54

<laugh>. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, so my dark night was not, uh, it was over the course of, I would say probably five, five years or so. And, um, you know, it started with my art process because that was the first place where I would do something and it didn't matter what anybody else said, nobody could tell me what to do on that canvas. And I started listening to that little tight inner voice. And then I started hearing that inner critic and dis differentiating those two voices. There's an inner critic and then there's a part of me that's just a little cheerleader inside that's like, yes, I like this, I like this color, I like this brushstroke. You're doing a good job. And it really kind of slowly, it took a hold of me and slowly started showing me the magical power of my emotions and how listening to my emotions and listening to myself felt so good instead of dismissing and dismissing and self abandoning myself for, to try and please other people, right? So eventually what that turned into is the desire to shift my career from being a teacher. I had always wanted to be a teacher in a school system. I was an English teacher for 10 years. And, um, I, when I was a little kid, I was like teaching people for fun and they're like, this isn't fun, we're little kids too. We don't wanna learn. We wanna play<laugh>. And I guess I just really like to boss people around<laugh>. But, um, so yeah, that was a huge thing cuz I had always seen this trajectory of me being a teacher and I was very dissatisfied in the, in the school system. Uh, and so then on top of that, there were a lot of things personally happening where I was in a marriage for 14 years and literally could not continue. I never would've thought that I would've ever gotten divorced, but I remember very vaguely because all of this happening, it can, I kind of dissociated a little bit. So it's, it's a very vague memory, but I just remember being like, when I said the relationship needed to end, it was almost like I was like, mouth, what are you saying? What, what's happening right now? Like, it was just a really confusing, confusing time. But the truth of the matter is that for many years that relationship had, um, we had both grown so differently and so apart. And me coming into my own was definitely something that I ha work that I hadn't done before the relationship. So I don't think either of us had really met my true authentic self yet. And, um, w I realized quickly that that was a process that I needed to have and a journey that he could not go on with me. And, and so that kind of slowly, even, even after I said that, I was like, all right, so see you later. Like, we were still married and, um, it was, it was a longer process that eventually led to, um, the end of, of that relationship as it was. Um, and then at the same time I had grown up in a, in a religious community and I was a very, um, I still consider myself a very devout Christian, but it was like go to church even when my family didn't go to church. I went to Christian schools, Christian colleges, and that was one of the biggest reasons, you know, I got married when I was 18. So you can imagine, like I really tried to do the right thing. I tried to do the thing that everybody was telling me was all the right rules and follow them. I would never have said at the time that I'm perfect. And, you know, I knew that I was a human being, but I was trying to make everybody happy and I, I wasn't making them happy and I wasn't making myself happy. And in the process of all of this collapsing where it felt very do or die, I couldn't totally understand it, but I knew that that relationship had to end or it would be the end of me. It was literally like choosing between myself and my marriage. And that was incredibly a really difficult choice to make. And, and there I was never at a point where I was necessarily suicidal, but there was thoughts of like, it would probably be better for people if I just wasn't here. I'm a lot of work. I'm too much trouble. I'm too much, you know, people, you know, would just be better off their lives would be easier without me. So I never made a plan or anything like that and I didn't stay in that state very long, but it was a logical thought in my mind for a while. And, um, so I think that, you know, one day I remember I was sitting in, in my backyard and it was a beautiful river and the sunset was happening and I got got the realization that that sunset that is really beautiful. And this beautiful scene could be seen by somebody who really does get it and does everything right and doesn't ever get divorced and doesn't ever do the bad things. And it's also being seen by me. So there was something about my, my Worth that made it so that I could still have the blessing of life. And I think in that moment I realized I just wanted to know what that meant and what, what it meant to be happy and what it meant to have more. And if it was possible so I could never get to a point where I was ready to necessarily give up because I wanted to know, you know, why are we here? Why, what is out there for me that is so great cuz this doesn't feel so great. And, and then on top of that, compounding it with like having to totally restructure the way I approached my faith and my spirituality and my religion. And then on top of that, the church community that I had gone to for decades, I mean, I had known these people since I was kids and they and an instant disappeared because when you get divorced, people get nervous. They don't really know how to handle that. And we were together since we were very young, so everybody knew us. Our identity was the couple that we were, and nobody just knew what to do. They didn't know what to say, they wanted to quote unquote fix it. They wanted us to stay together. They didn't understand the internal journey that I was going through. They didn't understand that saying you need to stay together was also saying, Heather, you shouldn't exist anymore. You don't deserve to truly live and to truly enjoy. And so it was like we could no longer communicate even we, we weren't on the same, uh, level anymore. And, and that was really hard. A lot of my family didn't understand as well, and I, I think they tried, but I think that the dark night of the soul is a journey you have to go on for yourself. So I started putting up a lot of boundaries with a lot of people. I felt really abandoned. I really had, I could count from, uh, hundreds of people. I knew it was one hand that I could count the people who were still accepting of me and still hoping the best for me and still supporting me and encouraging me. And those people are angels in my life. You know, they, they could hold the space for me in my lowest Lowe's when I didn't know how to do that. And they really helped me teach myself how to love myself. And I think that's us as humans, that's what we do for each other. We give each other a leg up as we go on our life's journey. Um, so from that place, I moved out. I was living on my own for the first time in my entire life, paying my own rent. Never had I done that before. Um, so developmentally I didn't get that at the correct age. Yeah. And I had two boys. Um, so they were young. Wow. And I, yeah, so on top of this, I'm a mom and I have to keep it all together and I have to go to work. And my emotions were spilling out all over the place. It was so overwhelming. Um, and the, the thing is, is that when I danced in that time period, it was joy unlike I've ever known. When I laughed and I smiled, it was so meaningful because of the contrast of the sadness that I was navigating and coming to terms with how I could do that to myself, how I could ignore myself for so long, you know, and the amount of self-love that was cultivated in that time. I, I will say having a therapist made all the difference. Um, having a therapist and then slowly growing a community of really empo empowering women. I think women are healing. We're so healing for each other for the world. And that was a huge benefit. And then, um, eventually because of the boundaries that I put up to protect myself, I was able to negotiate, uh, a pretty low conflict of divorce where we share 50 50 custody. And it was very fair and it was as smooth as something like that could be. And so I'm very grateful that we were able to shift that relationship into a co-parenting relationship eventually. Um, and uh, you know, and then when your, when your life is now at ground zero and it's you and your kids, then it's like, who do I allow back in? And so you purposely restructure the relationships that you allow back in. And you also only, you're very selective about who your community is now. Um, but it's so true that just the despair that I felt in that moment inspired the joy that I felt. Even I think it's hard to admit that I felt joy during that process because the pain was so overwhelming. You just want the pain to end and you don't wanna give credit to the joy because it's not doing the job of getting rid of the pain. But the reason why that pain is there is cuz I was ignoring myself for so long. So when I tell you that my full-time job was self-growth, man,<laugh>, I wrote like just typing out my feelings like 385,000 words or something like that. Like just to just say what I needed to say and listen and hear myself and validate myself. And then I started getting to a process of even reassuring myself. And slowly but surely, and when the insights happen in a dark night of the soul, it feels so good. It's like so much relief, right? But then you kind of get back into it. But slowly but surely, I put life together in a way that made sense to me so that when I'm walking around, I'm not thinking like, what is going on? What is happening? I'm so confused and overwhelmed. It's like, no, I understand why this happened. I understand, uh, why people react the way that they do. I've put the components back together. And more importantly, I, I did that work to sit with myself at ground zero and take my values step by step and rebuild who I was inside first. It was a lot of sitting by myself, um, because I was, I was not gonna distract myself. I was not gonna numb myself out. Right? And, and I will say that like when I was, uh, going through quarantine and that time, um, I had finished the process of getting divorced and now it was time to grieve and guide my children through that process, and then also kind of nurture myself. And it's almost like I really feel like the world just kind of stopped for me. And I was as stressed out as everybody else was. But I'm, I guess it's just like a side benefit. I think there's always good things that can happen in really terrible times. So the side benefit I got from that is I felt like the world just stopped so that I would have no choice but to sit and feel and sort and reassure and nurture and comfort, and then become empowered and then have these processes that now I can apply to life. Now I can understand that I'm always gonna be growing. Now I know when a an overwhelming emotion comes up exactly what to do with it, I know that it makes me stronger. I know that it inspires me to more, and I slowly put those pieces back together. So that is quite a lot to share. But I would say that's a good description of that journey for me.

Speaker 1: 23:26

So, so much gratitude. Thank you for sharing that. Um, uh, is a, as you were, as you were reflecting on that, and I was thinking, and hopefully with the listeners, um, you know, depending on wherever you are, um, if you wanna share, if you happen to see this like on social media, um, post me a comment or send me a message if you've had a similar journey or you feel like you might be on a journey. Um, my dark night was completely opposite. Um, it was not subtle, graceful, it had no, it, it was just lights on, lights off<laugh>, and went from all of these things I anticipated I thought would be a marriage and children, da da da to this huge abyss. Like I dropped into the vacuum of space. And um, I, I recall at that time thinking, whoa. It was like literally like I was put in a vacuum, like all of this opened up. But in the, in that abyss, that's when I learned about, whoa, well you gotta build form, you have to build something. And then for me, then I've slowly started to engage in, first was yoga, then I learned reiki. And then that was like the light there was like in this tunnel, this light beamed was reiki. And then I just found, you know, came on out of it and I was like, oh my gosh, that's why I was in that tunnel. Oh, get it. So, um, so for the listeners, um, because, and as we're discussing this topic, I wanna un let you all understand that this is one of the hardest we are bringing to you the big, big stuff of what happens in your spiritual life. This, if you're wondering if you're in it and is it bad? Yeah, it's bad. So, um, Heather, what would you think might be signs that someone might know that they are about to go into a dark height of the soul? Or if they're in it, what do you think would be signs that they may see in their life?

Speaker 2: 25:34

Um, that's a really good question. I, I would say, first off, you're, you're experiencing a lot of confusion. I would say that about big time things where you're starting to question things that you always held as true or it was always explained to you is true. And you're starting to say, wait, that's not adding up. And that's the cognitive dissonance that, um, that's a definition of what that is. Things just aren't adding up. Um, and it can be swift and it can come quickly and it can be a slow burn. I love that. Ours were, we're so opposite. So we can kind of round out that side of things because mm-hmm.<affirmative>, um, it is different for everybody, you know, and the extent to which it is different is also different. Um, so I would say that the confusion, I would say a desire to start cocooning and going within it, it's like, it feels like you're isolating. It feels like you don't wanna be around community. You're starting to get sick of people and, and any superficiality, you wanna know the depth, you wanna know the meaning, you wanna know the reality, and you don't wanna go through life anymore coasting. It's just not worth it for you. I would say if you're starting to get dissatisfied in your career, like your entire career choices and you just feel like, I don't know what I wanna do. Ooh, that's a really good one. I would also say, if you are having a hard time answering the question, what do I want? I would say that is a big indicator because dark night of the soul is kicked off by ignoring yourself for too long. And the powers that be and your body and your your highest self will not allow that to continue because you are too precious of a unique individual and perspective. So you will not be able to get away with ignoring yourself for too long. You just won't. Um, especially like I said, if you're sensitive to emotional energy, um, that is actually what feels like separates you from others, it's actually your superpower. And I couldn't have understood that in the dark night of the soul cuz it is so painful. But, um, I remember I had a friend who, uh, was telling me how, uh, they're like, they knew that I was just this phoenix that was gonna rise from the ashes that my life had fell around me. And he was able to just kind of sit and, and know that what that was going to inspire. And so even in that time I didn't, I wasn't able to totally believe him cuz I hadn't cultivated that self-love yet. But it was intriguing enough for me to take a step and take another step and take another step. So I would say those are good indicators, um, that you might be headed for, for that kind of thing. You want deeper meaningful things, things that used to work are not working anymore. Uh, you're starting to question big picture things and um, it, it really is a process of coming home to yourself and your desires. So you're probably a little confused about what your desires are and you might not have a process of tapping into that. I remember<laugh>. Oh yeah, yeah. I remember one time, um, this was when I was married. I didn't have anything going on that weekend. He went out of town, I didn't have my kids with me and it was just me on a, like a Saturday night and I didn't really have any friends to hang out with cuz I had just un unknowingly like distanced myself from people. And, um, I was like sitting there and I was like, what do I do with myself? I don't know. And I got a Big Mac and like that didn't do it. That didn't help<laugh>. So even though it's like

Speaker 1: 29:33

The Big Mac didn't answer your

Speaker 2: 29:35

Questions, even those like numbing and<laugh>, I did not, and I didn't eat Big Macs either. I was just like, I'm gonna try this<laugh><laugh>. But even those coping strategies did not, it, they won't help in that that time. They won't help. There's, you can't run from yourself. You can't, it's too strong. It's the most powerful drug. It's the most powerful substance is that self-empowerment. And it's always gonna be calling you toward it more and more. So it's just, um, when you're ready to listen and sometimes you have to get to a real dark place together.

Speaker 1: 30:08

So, um, Heather, why don't we brainstorm a little bit because, um, and as you're talking and I'm, and I'm just feeling it my heart and I'm thinking about, um, those that are journeying into are in the, into the darken eye. So maybe even someone that's listening that maybe has had it in the past and wonders, you know, what that period in their life was. And one of the things that, um, especially when I work with my patients and we're in a crisis, we're in a crisis of, you know, all kinds of, you know, I'm a physician, so, you know, a crisis on that scale can be life-threatening. So I found over the years that we probably need, um, a sort of a quick 9 1 1 type of action plan of maybe just one or two things to do for someone that might be listening that's feeling like they're in it feeling hopeless. Can you think of a few things you would tell them do to do today? What, what would you recommend they do today? Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>.

Speaker 2: 31:09

Yeah. Um, that's a really good question. I, I definitely, okay, so there was a time where I had$200 in the bank and I spent$75 of that on a therapist, right? Because I was not gonna go a week without talking to my therapist. And listen, I was always taken care of more than I could ever have even imagined. Everything just worked out for me partially because I became empowered through therapy. And I cannot recommend that enough. And I know that there are people who go to, not every therapist is the same, and you have to find the one that you connect with. And so if you've tried therapists and they haven't worked, do not write off therapy because here's the thing, what you're going through, it's, it's not to minimize it, but behavior is a science and there are reasons that you're going through what you're going through and there are people who can guide you out of that place. And the universe brings those people to you. So setting out that intention of I'm going to find the person I connect with that's gonna guide me out of this is mandatory. I, I, I don't know what would've happened if I didn't have my therapist. I don't know. I like that. So I can't recommend that enough. And, and that's not nec Yeah. And that's not necessarily, I get that that's not emergency or whatever, but there are, you know, when, um, if you feel like you're, uh, you need to cultivate a safe place for you. So that is more important than anything. It needs to feel safe. You deserve to feel safe in your body, in your home and in your space. If you don't, if you don't feel safe, there are places nearby that I, I don't know, uh, in other places, but there are, um, like procedures, they call it baker acting in Florida where you go to, uh, a hospital for mental health and it's, you spend three days and you will be with people who can tell you what you cannot tell yourself. And there's no shame in getting to that place, um, because it can really initiate a journey of healing. So finding out, um, where those places are, those emergency places are in your area are, are really important. Um, and then personally I would say two questions to ask yourself, um, in the moment are, one, how can I feel empowered right now? How can I feel empowered right now that I'm taking a step toward something that I want? And, and I get that that's hard cuz you, you don't believe that you can have what you want maybe or you don't know what it is that you want, but you don't have to get specific. Keep it general. Keep it general. What will make me feel most empowered in this present moment? And then secondly, how can I love myself right now? So if something triggers you and it brings up a lot of feelings of I'm not good enough or people would be better without me or things like that, it's almost like a gentle way to come back to yourself is to say, how can I show myself love right now? I can call a friend, I can watch a TV show until I calm down. That gets my mind off things. Um, and I'm sure that there are plenty of things that you can come up with because the truth of the matter is our brain is a tool. And when we have not practiced, nurturing, reassuring thoughts or we haven't heard'em from key family members that were supposed to give us that, uh, practice of listening to positive, reassuring things, um, then, then our brain is not used to being reassuring and nurturing and then we think we're not worth that love. Right? But what you realize is that when you ask your brain a question, it will go find the answer. So like for example, if I, even if I say don't, don't, this is just an example of how our brain works. But if I say don't picture a rainbow colored zebra right now in your mind, don't picture it, what does your mind immediately do? A rainbow colored zebra, it pictures a rainbow colored zebra and then it<laugh> and then it might try to erase it really quick cuz she said, oh, don't do that. But our brains our thoughts, we tell our thoughts what to do and then our thoughts cause actions, right? So if you ask yourself a question like, how can I love myself right now? Or how can I feel empowered right now towards something I want that will help me, that will benefit me, then you start telling your brain what to think cuz your brain will go okay right away. And then bad pa patterns not bad. Uh, unhealthy patterns pop up where they'll be like, oh, I don't deserve what I want. But it's that practice, you know, it's that practice of continually doing that because your brain, for a moment we'll try to get to work on an answer of how can I love myself right now? Okay, maybe it's taking a nap, right? And then it's like allowing yourself the patience of going through the process of learning what that is, um, what it is that you desire and how you love yourself. Oh, I have to say this one thing that was probably one of the best interventions I ever had was doing inner child work. Because that's what has happened here. There is a child that is did not get what the child needed in the appropriate age of development. And that's why you're here. You didn't learn how to reassure yourself and it's not your fault, right? And so it's really important to become the parent that you didn't have. And it's really important to reassure yourself and tell yourself what you need. Susan Anderson wrote a book called Taming the Outer Child. And I cannot recommend that work enough because what she talks about in that book is literally dialoguing with, she breaks it down into three different entities. And I hope it's okay I go through this cuz I just think it's so important for this part of this dark night of the soul conversation. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, mm-hmm.<affirmative>, mm-hmm<affirmative>. Um, but she goes through three different entities and it's like, thank you. It's like internally you have an inner child that is your feeling state, your emotional state, your vulnerable state. You have an outer child that acts up and is destructive when it's not getting what it wants. It throws a tantrum, it causes problems, it's dis it hurts yourself or others. And then there's this higher self, this parent figure, and we're learning to be our own parents, Abby girl. And so what she says is to have the outer child kind of sit in the corner for a little bit, take a break from all the destroying, and sit and listen to that inner child and give that inner child of voice. And at first that inner child is gonna have some choice words for that adult parent inside because it doesn't feel taken care of and it doesn't trust and it doesn't believe, but it wants to so badly. It wants you to hear it, it wants to be considered. And that's when I was typing up all the, like I just, writing was too slow for me. I had to get all out, you know? And the most important part of that process,<laugh> Exactly. And the most important part of that process is becoming the nurturing parent that you didn't have. And even saying to yourself, look, I don't know how we're gonna get out of this, but I'll find a way because you're worth it. It really helps to even look at yourself up a picture of yourself from when you were a child and do that. Because when we look at children who are hurting, we are hurt. We are like, no, that innocent child doesn't deserve that. But the only child you can affect, real true long cha lasting change in more than any others is the child you used to be. So that care and concern that you can feel for another child that's hurting, you gotta give that to yourself because nobody can do it better than you. And that is the gift of the dark night of the soul. Because when I tell you the levels of self-love, clarity, and empowerment that come from that consistent practice regularly, it's, it's, it's really hard to even quantify. So, and it never ends. That process never ends. It just gets better and better.

Speaker 1: 40:24

For the listeners, I wanna chime in with one, one little thing. Um, as we're talking and Heather is just downloading like crazy, this amazing information. Um, I do wanna say one thing. If you're in this dark place and it's dark, it is really dark and I can't imagine how dark, I'm gonna say a number two, you, you can call. Cause you don't have to do it alone. So, and a lot of people don't even realize the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You literally can Google national Suicide prevention lifeline or you can call the number+1 800-273-8255. So for some reason we're reaching you and we happen to reach you at that point. And if you find that you're having thought dark, disturbing thoughts, then you call that number. Um, I'll make sure I put that in the show notes. I, as you were talking, it occurred to me like I better just let people know there is a resource you mentioned in Florida where you are, there's a national resource as well. Um, also, Heather, you mentioned, um, the thoughts and the thinking about thoughts. And I will put this in show notes as well, that Heather is speaking of the law of attraction. Um, that's a big one. And I guess when I drag her back in, we'll cover that one, um,<laugh>. But, um, uh, that's called the Law of Attraction, which is a very prominent, um, book, especially in the spiritual world that basically trains us on our thoughts. But I'll put that in show notes. And as I'm thinking of how to rope Heather back in for another episode, that's Scott. Um, and um, then as well, um, I'm sorry, there was one other thing I was gonna throw by. I just wanted to circle around to those. So Heather, um, can you share with the listeners a little bit more about that Claire Coach certification and where they can find you if you'll say it for us and listeners, I'm gonna make sure you have all the resources to find her.

Speaker 2: 42:24

Yes, absolutely. Um, so I think what's really important is that there's never a time where you're meant to go through processes alone. And there are people who can hold space for you and believe the best about you when you are having a hard time with that, right? And the thing about it is, is that if you are sensitive enough to have a dark night of the soul, you are probably not aware of how powerful you truly are because not a lot of people can even get to that place because they are just, they're just not ready. And, and their, their, their spirit is still numbing and avoiding and ignoring. And a dark night of the soul means that you are ready to shift into your power in a major, major way. So I know that for me, um, part of the community that I incorporated into my life was not even people that I was, um, talking to in real life, but it was YouTube videos of positive speakers or authors like Brene Brown and really empowering people, um, Michael Singer and the Untethered Soul. And I can write down a list of my favorite resources that I went to, um, during my Dark Night of the Soul that just like, they helped me walk myself out of it. Um, and so being able to create a program for people who are empaths, who do feel emotions so deeply, it's, it's really an honor for me because then I get to be a part of that, uh, cheerleading squad for you to help you call it, to va the power that you have. And everybody is able to practice energy work or psychic advising in, in their own unique way. It won't look like everybody else's, but you probably have started to notice things that, I don't know, everybody just has a little, this is also probably a part of that list of how, you know you're going through the dark night of the soul is you're starting to notice that you're different, you're different, there's something different about you. And at first that's frustrating because it feels like it can separate you from people, but really those are the parts that you wanna kind of dive into and explore. That's where you want to allow yourself to open up to. Because here's what I was when I was going through this whole process and I was learning more about my spirituality. Um, you know, life was serious and life was heavy. And every once in a while I would go get a reiki session, like you mentioned, how important that was. And or I would pull a couple of tarot cards or I would start doing these things that I was told like were bad for me specifically growing up. Like they were wrong, they were sinful, they were evil. And I was like, this is actually really fun. I went to this, um, psychic circle and I was able to be around these other people who were sensitive to energies and picking things up. And um, slowly I started reading more and learning more and experiencing more, doing really cool meditations and um, really coming back home to myself like I mentioned. And these were the times where I would steal away and go have fun. And those things that you're doing to have fun and the things that you feel called to, that is what you are. It's your right to magnify those areas. So the hard stuff of dark night of the soul, the pain that gets sorted out slowly over time, but even while that's getting sorted out, there can be things that you do that you enjoy. And if any of them is something like energy work or developing your intuition, or if you are this sensitive to energy to have a dark night of the soul, you are here to serve others and help them and empower them, right, in a really powerful way. And I know that part of the reason why you're hurting is because you've wanted to empower people and you realized you weren't doing what you, what you came to, you weren't doing what it did, it wasn't working like you thought it was going to work. And that's part of the pain. But it doesn't mean that you're not here to help people. It just means there's some shifting in your mentality and your mindset that needs to happen. So I created this program for people who wanna become intuitive healers and I certify them in all three levels of reiki. We take six months, we, we go through it together. Um, we do a lot of group coaching. You receive a lot of individual carpools and um, chakra blockages cleared and ancestral clearings. And, um, you do this in a supportive, empowering community with other people so that you can develop your unique style of practicing energy, whatever that may be. And then that will help in your professional development. But that can also help in pretty much every other area of your life, including your profession and what, how you show up in your career and what services you provide to other people. Um, so I, I know that from the lowest low of my dark night of the soul, what that turned into is like, like the sky opening up money like I've never experienced before. I became more financially secure than I had ever had. Z I'm talking zero debt and savings and investments. And it, it was just the energy just starts clearing out so quickly you start seeing these benefits. I had more authentic connections cuz I was showing up more authentically. I was able to call in a career that was more fulfilling than anything I could have ever imagined. Um, it it, it's like pretend you go to your job and it relaxes you instead of depletes you like treasure. It's a treasure. And not to mention calling in a, a beautiful conscious, romantic partnership that is evolving and growing and one of the greatest blessings of my life as well. Um, solid relationships with my family members and happy children. And it really is like the opposite becomes true and energy work was a big part of that for me. So if that's something that resonates with you, there's a reason and I have more information on my, um, website. I actually have a, an MP3 that I created and it's a psychic activation upgrade. So it's there to kind of initiate those and, and create a really powerful intention to be open to that psychic energy. And there's nothing to be afraid of. There's nothing to be afraid of in the spiritual world and, and, and in when you explore psychic energy because there are so many light beings and spirit guides and supportive communities that can help you through it, um, and, and and guide you to your best and highest self. So that psychic activation upgrade is totally free and it's just a way for you to be able to, um, start your journey.

Speaker 1: 49:44

Listeners, wherever you're listening, I'm gonna make sure that you have the link to get to that freebie, the psychic activation upgrade. Um, and I will also make sure you have all the links to find Heather on social media. She's very easy to find as well as her website. Um, Heather, thank you so much. This is one of the hardest, uh, heaviest topics and I just, my intuition was telling me to ask you to dig in to go through this with me and the listeners. Um, as we close out, um, I just have so much gratitude for you, thank you so much. I know that the clients that are working with you are just seeing amazing results. And for you listeners, if you're listening of course, um, we appreciate if you wanna share this episode, if you wanna share it on Facebook, if you wanna send it in an email to anyone that you know might be going through a rough period of time, um, I'll make sure that you have the ways to share this, um, because I think this is, this is worth discussing going through this dark night. Um, for the Art of Healing listeners, we are airing this at a little bit off of a time cuz normally we do Mondays. And then I also wanna let you know that I will be resuming that t c Bed of a Break. The Art of Healing podcast will be back in January of 2022. You don't wanna miss the return. It's gonna be awesome. Heather, thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 51:13

You're so welcome. And what I, I wanted to say one more thing before, um, we end and it's kind of about, um, if people are feeling confused and, and that cognitive dissonance, it's a major thing that I learned about how to put things in the right order. And so what I'll say is our pain and our desire helps us to grow. And when we realize that our pain is not a judgment or punishment of us, it's just information inspiring us to our desires, then we can put it in the appropriate place and know that it's just there to support us or not support us, but to inspire us to better and it doesn't have to crush us. And one of the gifts of the dark Night of the soul is to really be able to do that shadow work and sit with those hard things because ultimately a deep down a part of you knows that you deserve so much more. Because if any other hu you're a human just like anybody else, if anybody else deserves it, then you also deserve it too. And it's your journey and it's a beautiful journey to go on to find out the extent of your own desires. So I just wanna end with that to make sure we keep in mind that pain is not a signal that we're doing it wrong, it's inspiring us to what is right.

Speaker 1: 52:35

Listeners, thank you Heather. Thank you so much. Art of Healing Podcast will be back very soon. Check your show notes for all those resources. Bye-bye.